My definition of romantic is peace, communication, learning, growth, giving, receiving, harmony, balance, and freedom.

The kind of romance sold to us in soap operas and movies isn’t real. Its essence is commercial—it strikes an emotional chord, and that’s a successful formula that has worked and continues to work. People deceive themselves, thinking that fairy-tale version of romance is what they’ll find in their relationships, but real life is very different.

Romantic relationships should seek romance through communication and constant growth—first as individuals, then as a couple, and finally as a family. We are whole individuals, not incomplete halves, and being in a relationship should mean enhancing our lives, as well as the lives of our partner and family. That is the true essence of romance: when we fight every day to preserve that sense of partnership and family, something that is increasingly being lost. A partner should be in our lives only if it helps improve our solitude—and vice versa.

Every time I see an elderly couple walking together, I think about all the adversity they must have faced, how many sacrifices and sufferings they must have endured, how many battles they must have fought and won—because they won them all by still walking together. I think about how many times they were probably close to giving up, yet found love even beneath the stones and managed to overcome all their obstacles. And I think about how, despite the years, the routine, and the familiarity, they choose each day to remain together. That is romantic.